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Friday, January 18, 2008 1:10 AM

Happy 50th entry to me! =)
Time now: 12.38mn.

Yes, I know I have been blogging more than frequent recently.
But that's because I've reached home late once again.
& I just have to wait for my hair to dry!

Anyway, lots happened today.
Firstly, a day of work without any ward sisters.
Which is really pure happiness.
Know why? Cos to be honest, I didnt do much 'work' in the ward today.
I basically chit-chatted, stone-ing and walking around in the ward.

Secondly, time really flies today.
Once we reported for work, Barbara Tang called us for the presentation.
Which lasted for the first 2 hours and a half of work.
For the next one hour, something major happened in the ward, which keeps me occupied.
It makes me running around for errands.
Next half an hour is for me to catch up on my report that I have not received.
Next hour is chit-chatting and getting people to sign cards.
Next hour is makan and tido time!
Last 2 hours and 45 mins is for me to chit-chat, talk and walk around the ward for nothing!

And once again, for the third time in my life, I had experienced something called "helpless".
Third time in my life you know!
Know how that feels?! It simply hurts. It hurts and aches my heart when I'm losing grip of a precious life. When the door seems to be closing. When the light seems to diminish.
I just turned emo on the spot.
Yes, she was revived. But so what? Its already the second episode!
Using the E-trolley is the first time in my life.
And seriously, I dun feel like seeing that machine being in used anymore.
But yet, my ambition is to be in the A&E.
Gawd. Its either I can forget abt A&E, which means forgetting about nursing, or I do something about how I am thinking and feeling right now.
I seriously need a change of thought.

I was reminded of grandpa ong again.
Since ytd, since I'd encountered with my ah-gong from bed __.
His everything just reminds me of grandpa ong.
Oh my... How much I miss my grandpa man.
Shit. Pure shitty-ness. It makes me feel so............
Sorry, I just cannot find the right word!

Dota-ed again after work.
With sis, ZL, Tat and Ryan.
But to me, it's more like wasting money game.
Majority is due to the odd number players. I think.
Then went makan, then home.

Anyway, was analysing a case scenario just now.
Ha, shall recap abt it now.
Imagine a guy, tall and skinny, but not that good-looking.
Being well liked by so many girls..
One of which is his ex-gf, who I feel empathised with.
She still like him so much, but he doesnt seems keen on reconciliation.
To put myself in her shoe, I think I will be heart-broken at the end of the day..

There seems to be so much rivalry going on, but the guy cant seems to make up his mind on who he likes better.
If I were to be one of the girls. I think I will back out.
Cos, I'd rather find someone who likes me as much as I like him.
But not someone who "chose" me after much consideration made by the guy.
This, to me, is not true love.
If the guy/girl really likes you, is there even a need for that much of a consideration?
Will this type of relationship even last long?

But well, shant comment that much.
Cos I am old. The younger generation have their own thoughts!
Maybe my thinking is abit too old too.
Maybe the generation now prefers such relationship!

Ha, whatever. Going to tido already.
My hair is finally dried!

My thoughts were pen @ 1.10am.