(( MSBUSYLAZY ))

Tuesday, October 20, 2009 9:48 PM

My stupid boyfriend went for his field camp.
Luckily, this is so much shorter than the one that he had in BMT.
It's only from this morning,
Till tomorrow night...

But no contact for one day is enough to kill.
Especially when you need someone to rant and vent your frustrations.

Work today was CRAP.
2 Mcs.
I thought I will be given a more senior AN.
But guess what?
I was still given what I have,
Plus a HCA, who is working her day 1 in the ward today,
(She wasn't even in the trendcare)
With me, a new SN, and my new AN.

On top of these shits,
My patient,
Who was supposed to be NBM (Nil By Mouth; can't eat or drink),
Was given diet!
Meaning, she ate her breakfast.
And it was noticed by the doctors,
Not the nurses.
WHAT THE FUCK?!

When I get to know about it,
I stunned,
And was unable to say anything.
I stared at her,
And my mood went from bad to very worst.
I think, my whole face went black.
And suddenly no mood at all.
Even the usual Queena who always follow her rounds,
Decided not to follow any today.
Simply couldn't be bothered with it.
Too tired,
Stressed out,
Burnt out?

My first thought was not to find out whose fault is it,
But to find a solution.
But who knows.
I had a small commotion behind my back,
One shouting that it's not her fault,
The other spoke softly, saying that it doesn't matter anymore.

Though the appointment is on the afternoon.
But I can't do anything if the surgeon at the Endo Centre refuses to do the procedure for the patient.
Though the team is nice,
And decided not to pursue the matter...

Yesterday, I was already left with a junior,
But yesterday was different,
I still had a float nurse,
And the night staffs even helped me with my IVs. =)
My junior yesterday was superb too. =)))
Love her to bits.

But today is a totally different case.
God damn it.
Ernies saw me.
From tired, to moodless, to black face, and to couldn't be bothered.
Though my side is good to handle,
But at times, it's not about the workload,
It's the work situation and whatever mistakes that happened that you had to take the responsibilty for it, whether is it your fault or not.

I was really at my limit.
I admit,
I was really hanging on to my tears that time.
It's too much to bear.

Please people,
Don't put so much hope on me.
I am still new.
Just served finish my probation.
Cause (even Ernies can feel this) everyone is having this thought,
"Queena can make it alone"

LOL, I am not some god.
I still have alot of room to learn and improve.
I am not confident for alot of stuffs.
Remember?
I was even being compared in the beginning.

When I hang up on the phone with Jh before going to work,
I was already kinda emo.
But the work situation just makes things worst.

While having lunch,
Decided to catch last minute movie with Ernies.
We both need to relax, destress and not think about our NSF guys. =)

Catched "Julie & Julia",
(Highly recommended for laides out there!)
But the romance part,
Just makes me think of Jh la!
So what the shit...
LOL!
Cause it's the first time that I actually felt till this way. =/

It's all the part,
Whereby the couples sacrifice so much for each other.
The way the husband care, concern, encourage and support their wives.
Makes me think of Jh!
Whenever I was at the verge,
He would be there for me.
His encourage and support at my lowest point of life.
And whenever I hated about that particular someone,
He hated them along with me. =)

*Julia couldn't publish her book, and started to talk about it to her husband at home.
I remembered, he still say,
"Fuck them who don't appreciate your hardwork"

LOL! Totally like Jh la! Zzzz.
God damn it.
Did I just say?
I miss Jing Hang!!!